All You Need To Do
Updated: Aug 25, 2019
When I started yoga I hardly worked out for about three years of practice because it was so hard and so exciting to be not so great at something. Along with that, it was great that nobody cared how “good” you were at it. When I did my YTT I remember saying, with almost 30 people around me, that I didn’t think I had ever genuinely enjoyed this many people’s company.
Then I started teaching and would play Santana during class and never start sitting and breathing and nobody cared and I loved having people I knew there. Then I moved on and experienced other teachers and shit got technical. It turns from “Nobody remembers that you said right instead of left” to “you need to be effectively cueing.” From “Help this person out in the pose” to “You need to make physical contact consistently during classes.” And then sometimes you teach more than you practice and you feel like you’re not practicing what you preach and maybe you should be doing what that person is doing or your skin breaks out and how can you be a healthy glowing yoga lady with acne?
All of the sudden it’s a western ideal storm and it becomes the one thing you thought you left with the gym - this attitude of constant progression and everybody telling you how you should do what you love and care about - when all you need to progress is to keep loving and caring.
I love yoga because I could practice ashtanga for five years and then yin for five years or something different every single day if I want to. My body gets harder then softer and I never move backwards because there is no backwards.
I take cold showers to remind myself. I think about how much I love my fingernails and it makes me cry because how could I love one of the most random parts of my body so much and have the whole thing not be enough for other people? It makes me cry because some people have never felt that toward themselves. And because some people never will. So we need to remind ourselves constantly.
What are we really here for? What is important? How can we be intentional and conscious in communicating it?