Scarcity & Abundance
Throughout college, like most students, I had very little money. I learned through my sociology class that I was then practicing "gratification deferral."
Then I graduated! I've been working and spending the money I make, on both necessary and unnecessary items, like everyone does - and getting a little too used to it, apparently. There's this phenomenon talked about in psychology that I can't remember the name of for the life of me, but it is all about adapting to circumstance. For example, if you don't have AC in your car and then get it, you get super excited to have your AC on. Then you get used to it and when your AC breaks, you throw a fit because you're used to having AC. Essentially, you get a higher quality of life, adapt to it, then want more, get a higher level, adapt to it, then want more and are upset with less. However, when we are able to stay in the aspect of first getting that life advancement, staying in gratitude, we can change this pattern.
This week I had the chance to more deeply understand this concept. I had one of those times when I spend and spend without noticing how much, then all of the sudden when it's time to pay for something necessary and big, I realize I have no money, or close to none. This happened the other day, and I lost it. I got upset and worried and stressed that I wouldn't be able to pay for the things I needed to. Life was calling, though, and I had to get dinner and make lunch. I had about $20, so I bought some food and a can of black beans to eat with the food I had at home for lunch. The next day, I had $7-ish in one account and three in the other. I transferred over the three and bought some sushi!
This day I had this crazy, familiar feeling of, "Oh, I used to do this ALL the time." Transfer a couple dollars from one place to the other. Use my brain when I grocery shop - what has the most nutrition that costs the least? Not gonna lie either, at first I felt a little shame about it. Following the previous feeling was one of, "Oh, all of my work is for nothing, I'm still in this place I was before." It wasn't true though. As I went on with my day I started to think, maybe I've gotten a little spoiled. It isn't totally a bad thing to revisit how I used to live my life and be reminded that that can happen at any time. THEN, I had a really great thought.
Which was -
That place I used to be in wasn't bad. I didn't have much to spend or as much choice with how I lived but I learned a lot. Along with that, this was a reminder that not only can I lose a lot at once; any time, but that I will be totally fine if that happens. Being familiar with a place of challenge or struggle doesn't make me unsuccessful, weak, or helpless.
IT DOES THE OPPOSITE.
I am strong! I am resilient!
I can do a lot with a little, and since I now have what to me is a lot - I can do a shit ton!
I have never felt so free and so powerful. I have never believed so deeply in my capability and known in my being that regardless of any external change, I am going to be fine.
Plus, a day or so later I got paid twice.
It comes and goes. "It," whatever that is for you, will ALWAYS be coming and going.
We don't need to come and go with it. We are here for ourselves.
Strong, capable, resilient. Forever and ever.